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Friday, May 3, 2019

while collecting eggs


2 months ago today,
on a stormy day,
while in a normal act of motherhood,
i ran head first into
the trunk of my car,
resulting in a horrid concussion.

the injury has defined 
so many of my days and my moments 
over the past two months.

in what i've 
had to say no to.

in what i've
said yes to,
but then couldn't,
or had to figure out another way.

in what i've
rearranged to make time
for weekly / bi-weekly 
doctor and physical therapy appointments.

in what i've
asked for help with,
and how i've been able to help.

in what i've
looked like
as i fashion very bright neon-colored ear plugs, 
or toilet paper rolled up and stuffed into my ears.

in what i've
prayed for,
as i learn to let go
of the expectations and timing 
i set for myself,
and trust the lord's plans.

early on,
i dwelled in the frustration
of being hurt and sidelined.

i dwelled in the utter stupidity
and reality
of the self-inflicted accident.

i dwelled in my very 
raw feelings of anxiousness and fear.

but this morning,
while i was out collecting eggs and 
realized it had been two months,
i wasn't overcome
with feeling of loss,
but instead 
feelings of gratitude and awe.

oh and my t-shirt basket
 really made me smile.

because even in the midst of all the 
diversions, redirections,
loneliness and fear,
i have 
experienced the most 
beautiful and amazing
love, care,
family, friendship and healing.

because even if the last two months,
looked different,
sounded different (thanks earplugs),
felt different 
and just was all kinds of different,
it was filled to the brim with memories and experiences,
bits and bobs 
the were lived out amidst all the different.

and because even if this timing 
was not at all 
what i anticipated or would have hoped for,
it became a very important time
to reflect, plan and build 
something i am so excited to share with you...soon.
very soon!

but today,
i'm siting right here,
in the deep gratitude for the season it's been,
and in the sweet anticipation and hope for the season to come.

xo!

Monday, April 8, 2019

i'm sorry wonder woman (again)


last week, i asked you guys to 
help me decide what to blog about.
{post}.

and well the bits & bobs' votes are in,
and you guys voted for a
ha ha ha 
"pee your pants story."

i'll be touching on the 
other topics as well,
but i thought why not start
this rainy monday
with a few laughs.

i've titled it,
"i'm sorry wonder woman (again)."

since many of you may recall
a story from a few months back
on a similar topic.
{post}

***

i should mention, 
that i've been cautioned 
by some wise sisters
to not share this story. 

they are right,
and i've thoughtfully considered their points.

but there is a side of me,
or all of me,
that can't help myself.

i believe raw moments like these connect us.
i believe stories are worth telling.
and i always believe in the power of a good laugh!

also i love a creative challenge,
so it may mean that you'll need
to use your imagination
to figure some of this out.

but I promise,
it won't be that hard.

***

once upon a time
(last tuesday)
there was a girl
who was
invited by
a friend to attend
a women's leadership conference.

the little girl
(woman)
was thrilled,
as she was just coming
off a rough month 
of saying no
to a lot of things,
due to a concussion.

the girl
was also excited to
attend one of 
these big women's events,
since she used to attend or produce them all the time
when she worked in corporate.

this event would provide her 
with the opportunity to appreciate and soak
it all in from the entrepreneurial side,
and as part of her research for what she 
is working to build build.

her only reservation
(concern)
was that she had just
started her
whole 30 journey,
so being at
an all day conference
in the midst of
a detox
could pose some issues.

but alas,
she put on her big girl shoes
(heels),
and
fueled her body up
(whole 30 approved breakfast and lots of water too).

she kissed her 
kids and husband goodbye,
and set-off to gather with thousands of women,
for a day of research, inspiration and empowerment!

***

the girl
(country girl)
always anticipates the amount
of traffic during
boston rush hour.

this was not
her first rodeo.

but...
on this particular day,
the traffic was some of the worst she's ever seen.

and well...
the whole 30 detox,
and effects of the morning's water intake
was doing it's work.

meaning,
the girl 
was overcome with a sudden
and most urgent urge to find a rest stop. 

but when en route to boston,
this is not an option.

***

so the girl did three things.

1.
she called a friend,
put her on speaker,
and told her to just keep talking,
with hopes that it would distract her.

2.
she wished that she had
brought an extra set 
of clothes,
which she always does,
for countless reasons 
(coffee spills, weather, or comfort),
but alas she was out of practice.

3.
she texted her husband
to tell him not not be surprised 
if he got a call that his wife 
was picked up by an
ambulance for a ruptured body part.

seriously.
this was legit...
painful...
excruciating...
and well really happening.

***

there was one other
known factor 
that should be mentioned.

the girl
was en route to a women's conference.

and well...
the lines for certain rooms
(men's & women's)
are crazy long,
way more so than at fenway park
or any bar.

while she did not doubt that her friendly grit would enable her to cut the line,
she did doubt her ability to even make it to the line.

***

she eventually parked 
her car below the 
world trade center,
gathered her things,
checked her reflection in the mirror,
gave herself a pep talk,
and exited the vehicle.

she was then overcome with 
a level of urgency that she has never EVER experienced.

there was no way she was getting 
out of that parking garage,
onto the elevator, 
up to the conference center,
and into the front of any lines.

nope.

***

so instead of channeling
an inner-wonder woman,
she channeled her 10 year old son,
and found the closest thing to a tree
she could find.

and because she was underneath
the city of boston,
the closest thing to a tree was a parked truck
rows away from where other people 
were parking and exiting their cars.

so she grit her teeth and waddled,
with tears rolling down her face,
to behind a truck 
in row m.

***

at this point in the story,
i suggest that my brothers and 
any other male readers stop reading.

***

in anticipation of 
splatter from the concrete floors,
the girl decided it best to take off her
pants & shoes for this
parking garage squat.

this was bold,
and not often required when 
on a hike or in the woods near a ball field.

but remember, she did not have
a spare set of clothes,
and she would be spending her day sitting besides
thousands of women  

so she discarded her garments,
and did what was needed.

***

unfortunately though,
while she anticipated the splatter from the concrete,
she did not anticipate the force in which 
the flushing would exit her body,
resulting in a somewhat
unexplained bumper spray and lots of splashing.

gosh,
whole 30 detox is legit.

also,
in case you didn't know,
concrete is not absorbent...
not even slightly.

so the girl had to quickly,
 and in mid-stream,
rescue her discarded garments and bag
from the rushing rivers that 
were quickly approaching her things.

it was a scene,
i am sure was captured 
by security cameras,
and may show-up on youtube some day.

***

but yup,
it happened.

it was my only choice.

honestly.

i'll plead this in a court of law
if they come after me for
indecent behavior in public space.


***

but let me tell you,
thank GOOOOOODNESS i'm an oiler.

because after a quick clean-up
with some tissues
i freshened up
with my
thieves purifier,
a few sprays of my lemon body spray,
and a roll-on of valor to calm my rattled self.

then i put myself back together,
slipped into my heels
and proceeded to 
join
some amazing women
who have also conquered great things.

is it bad,
that i thought about approaching 
them to see if they wanted me to tell my story from the stage?

i mean it was packed with 
strategic thinking, 
strength through vulnerability,
mindfulness and 
true bad ass grit,
right?

or maybe
i should just file it as another
"sorry wonder woman" 
moments.

i'll let you decide.

***

p.s.
i'm now on day 7 of whole 30,
feeling great,
and not too traumatized by
the effects
 of so much water intake.

but to keep myself motivated,
i bought this gallon sized water jug that 
has messages of encouragement throughout the day.

so if you see me doing a little dance,
get out of my way,
you never know what may happen!



Friday, April 5, 2019

in search of inspiration & cadbury eggs



just popping in from the 
defoyd backyard farm chicken coop to say
heyyyyyyyy,
and happy fridayyyyyyy!

also, i've missed this little space,
and have so so SO many 
thoughts 
and memories 
and stories swirling
that i want to get out of 
my little ol' concussed head.

BUT,
i'm on day 5 of whole 30
and all i can think about is cadbury chocolate eggs
 (btw, there aren't any in the chicken coop).

so,
i thought i'd ask you guys!

help me decide which one 
of these categories to blog about first.

here are the
3
options

1. 
a funny, ha ha,
 pee your pants story

2.
a read more,
why words matter,
reflective feminist's story

3.
a balance for better,
building on a dream story

you vote,
because the chickens
here at the farm aren't good listeners or
any good at laying chocolate eggs.

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

thankful tuesday, 3/19



writing thank you notes
while fueling up with a pretty lunch
seemed like a perfect time for a
thankful tuesday too!

here's to gratitude and
how it turns everything into enough...

patience, understanding and
quiet voices.

car pools, playdates
and helpful recommendations.

dark rooms, ear plugs
and sunglasses.

rest, snuggles, prayers
and podcasts that inspire.

baked treats, casseroles
and hearty soups made with love.

flowers, happy mail, texts 
and phone calls.

my mr., kids, friends
and family.

"i'll be brief...thank you."


Monday, March 18, 2019

another b word


a few weeks ago,
i popped into this space
on a monday morning to share some
reflection bits.

i re-read that post earlier today,
 and had a giggle as 
i thought about today's 
"big, beautiful, busted up normal" 
monday morning bits. 

while each included a to do list,
and laundry, 
and emails,
and phone calls,
and crockpots,
and groceries,
and animals,
and parenting...

today was different.

so different than just 
a couple weeks ago.

in what's top of mind,
and what needs to be done...

in what's in my head 
and what's on my heart...

in the logistics 
and in the love...

and in the big, beautiful 
and busted up of this week.

***

a few weeks ago
it was a monday post a school vacation that
 was filled to the brim with activities, 
adventures and lots of life doing.

and today a monday post weeks 
of being completely  
sidelined with a concussion
and lots of life watching.

yet both...

big,
beautiful,
and 
busted up!

oh yes.

***

and it's why,
i'm fired up to be gathering with my sisters
later this week for some m&e wellness workshops 
on the topic of another amazing "b" word...

BALANCE!

because as
women,
sisters,
daughters,
wives,
moms,
friends,
and 
bad ass beauties
we long for balance.

we thrive in it
and strive for it...

we teach it
and seek it...

and we 
know better than anyone,
when it's busted up,
and
when it's beautiful.

gah,
i can't wait!

***

and hey,
there is still time to register!
 {link}


Thursday, March 14, 2019

my mom boots & my mom concussion


let me introduce you 
to my "mom boots."

they aren't quite 
in the same category 
as "mom jeans",
but bear with me.

***
i got them thirteen (13) years ago,
while in ireland, 
on vacation with wes.

we were just a little over a year into our marriage,
visiting friends,
and adventuring through 
england, scotland and ireland.

it was on this trip,
where we found out we were 
going to be parents. 

***

we thought my nausea
was because of jet lag and navigating windy roads,
but nope!

we are also so glad that all our time in the pubs 
and lots of pints of guinness 
didn't have an impact on our baby girl!

it was a memorable trip!

***

i bought these boots in dublin,
 on the last leg of our trip,
and when the baby news made every thing so special.

i loved them so much,
and remember thinking
how they would bring some
flare to my new mom style.

they could be my
"mom boots."

***

 it wasn't too long after that though,
and for many years following,
that i could't wear them.

my swollen,
preggo,
post preggo,
changed feet barely fit into my mom boots!

***

i held onto them though.
the've broken in beautifully,
and 
i love how they give 
this vertically challenged girl,
who can't do heels,
a few extra inches.

***

lately i've been wearing my "mom boots" more and more,
simply because they keep me eye to eye with ella,
the child who now towers over me, 
thirteen years after the day i bought my "mom boots".

they make me feel less like 
the "little mummy,"
she so lovingly calls me.

***

let's flash forward to a couple weeks ago.
to a completely ordinary, 
every day parenting moment...

***

i was loading up the car, 
and needed to help my youngest daughter 
get into her booster seat.

it was snowing,
so my head was down.

i was hustling,
because that's what moms do.

i went around the back corner of the car,
and slammed my head into the raised hatch of my volvo.

can you almost see it?

resulting in a serious 
"mom concussion."

head hurt,
ouch.

***

can you guess what 
i was wearing?

yup,
my "mom boots."

it was those extra inches,
 that often make me feel like i'm on the top of my game,
that caused me to whack my head so severely,
taking me out of the game.

heart hurt,
ouch.

***

#momboots
#momconcussion
#ouch.


q&a with m&e


m&e
popping in with a
q&a
on next week's

we hope this helps,
answers your q's
and inspires you to want to be apart of it!


***

q&a with m&e:

q: m&e, does the event really run two days? because i can't commit to that!
a: kinda, but not really. it runs over 2 days, but it's broken up into 3 separate workshops, 
so you can sign-up for for whatever works best for you!

q: i don't know if i can get there right at 7 on thursday night, 
or right at  9 a.m. for the friday morning session - is it okay if i'm a few minutes late?
a: yes! each workshop begins with a time built in for arrival/connecting/taking in of the environment...so no worries if you can't get there until a little after....or if you need to leave a few early, no worries on that either!

q: do i need to register online?
a: if you could, that would be awesome.  this helps us so much, so we can focus on content, loving on you and of course finalizing all the set-ups, materials, food, etc at the thayer house. would love to have a sense of #s by early next week so we are set to go. but if it's too tricky - no worries - just send us a note and we'll take care of it, we are just excited to have you!

q: m&e, can i share the invite with me friends?
a: ABSOLUTELY. in fact we would love that so much...
and your friends will love YOU for loving on them.

q: m&e, can you remind me again what each session includes?
a: of course - here you go!

***

evening program // march 21 // 7:00-9:30 a.m. // $30

an intimate & reflective evening
 by the fireplace at the thayer house.
we will inspire you to love, care and celebrate 
what it means to be a woman,
no matter what season of life you are in.

we'll be focusing on the theme of BALANCE... 
and sharing real stories and strategies
that will equip you for more!

we'll connect as sisters, daughters,
friends, moms, wives, dreamers, doers and bad ass women!

morning program // march 22 // 9:00-11:30 a.m. // $20

wear your stretchy pants and
bring a mat for a beautiful morning of 
self care through yoga, meditation and essential oils.

whether you are brand new to these things,
or a yogi / oiler already
join us for the special morning in a dreamy setting.

and guess what,
**babysitters provided**
yay!

luncheon program // march 22 // 12:00-2:30 p.m. // $30

we've invited jessie dwiggins to lead a 
interactive luncheon conversation on how we can 
embrace hunger like our best friend, 
tame our eating triggers, 
and end the war between good and evil foods.

the luncheon also includes
our bright and fresh salad bar,
and of course the beautiful setting of the thayer house.


**babysitters provided**
here too,
yay!

***

okay,
we hope this was helpful,
answers your questions,
and inspires you to want to be a part of it.

let us celebrate YOU!
treat yourself!
celebrate with US!
treat yourself!
take a personal day!
try something new!
love on yourself!
and let us love on YOU!

because, hey
you are AMAZING!